Bumps, Bruises, and Adventures

My boys just returned from camp.  They came back exhausted, excited, and full of stories to share.  This will be a full summer for them, with more camps and trips and experiences, just as any preteen's summers should be.  I see them growing in leaps and bounds as they begin this mad race toward adulthood, and it makes me so proud of the young men they are becoming.  As they each carried their bags and pillows and blankets and tackle boxes to the van and loaded them up (without asking for help or being prompted to do so, I might add), I realized how much I love their independence, their freedom to live and learn and experience things.

Since we have always homeschooled, there are many of the typical childhood problems that were avoided.  No one has made my kids cry over the fact that they weren't wearing cool shoes, or made fun of them for things they like to do or shows they like to watch.  They have been able to grow and flourish and thrive free of the negative pressures that are typical at this age.  Their friends are beautifully supportive and kind.  I thoroughly enjoy this aspect of our life because it is more representative of reality.  The Lord of the Flies of typical school is not a social reality.... it is school reality.  In real life, you have to freedom to change your environment, to change your job, to change your career, to change your goals, your location.  I love that the personalities of my children can be forged in this environment.  However, I do not wish that they grow up in a bubble.  This is less about hovering and protecting, and more about providing a safe place for all of those important mistakes and heartbreaks and missteps to occur.  Life is about experiences.  Life is about choices.  Cuts.  Bruises.  Tears.  These are mandatory for growth.  For health. 

To my children,

I want you to make your own decisions, so that you will learn to trust yourself.
I want you to fall, so that you will learn to get back up.
I want you to be scared, so that you can learn how strong you are.
I want you to ride/skate/play so hard that you break a bone, so you can see that you will heal.
I want you to feel heartbreak, so that you can learn when to guard it, and when to let it free.
I want your legs to be covered in scrapes, bumps, and bruises, so I will know you are truly living, not just growing older.
I want you to miss me so that when you come back to me you will see that, wherever you may go, I will always be here for you.
I want you to get into trouble, so that you can learn from your mistakes.
I want you to see me cry, so that you will know that everyone's hearts can break.

Your independent spirits give me such comfort.  I don't want to raise you up like a chick in a brooder, but guide you through the fields.  May all of your experiences, both good and bad, mold you into the strong, sincere, resilient, confident, trusting, careful, beautiful person that you are meant to be.

Love,
Mom