A Wonderful Life

Christmas is behind us and boy what a Christmas it was! We went to Fayetteville and I helped Mom prepare for the big Christmas Eve-Eve party. I wanted to go down early to help her out... I'm not quite sure what I was thinking! With Ivey in tow, I was at about 20% of my usual pre-party helpfulness. But, I was able to run some errands for her, clean up a little and fix a few food items. At around 4:00 I started to panic. The house is usually a disaster area right before the party, but for some reason that fact wasn't making me feel much better with only 3 hours to go. I did what I could and headed upstairs to nurse Ivey and get a shower. Of course, in typical Mom fashion, the starts and moon aligned themselves and viola! I came down the stairs to a beautiful house full ready for guests.

The party was a blast, like always. Charlie, Kristi, Hal, Jen and we spent the night. The next morning was a bit weird because both Mom and Roland had to work! But, Chris and Leslie and the kids came and all of us siblings exchanged our gifts for the kids. We were able to have our annual Christmas Even Morning festivities, even though the people who actually live there weren't able to come. Mom and Roland saved their gifts so that they could bring them to each of our houses on Christmas Day. It wasn't the usual schedule of events, but it worked great! Flexibility is the key!

We went to Randy and Linda's house later that day and went to church. It was a great kid-friendly service (and my one and only time that I have nursed Ivey in church!). We returned to their house for dinner and presents. The boys really racked up. Legos, pinball game, army men, slot car track, model car... actually Uncle Mike (aka Cool Mo Dee) was a bit upset that he bought the kids such cool presents only for Addison to say he favorite gift was the box of army men that Grandmomma and Granddaddy got them... the same little molded plastic men that we all had.. probably the cheapest present in the bunch!

Santa brought Leapsters (huge hit for Addison), Star Wars men, Pixos for Asa, art supplies, a rock tumbler, Battleship, and a Playmat, plush seat and toys for Ivey. Dad, Hal and Jen came over early and Dad unloaded the presents on our poor living room. He went totally overboard!! Then, Mom and Roland made their stop and brought yet another car load of presents. These boys have more toys than they know what to do with! I think next year, we may set some kind of grandparent limit! Later in the day, we could not find Addison anywhere. Finally, he was spotted sitting on the floor behind the living room chair.. playing his Leapster. Either he didn't want anyone to make him stop or he thought we were all ruining his concentration.

I got some great presents, too. Really great ones. My very best one, though, was to be well. Thank God. I am healthy. This recent hospital stay and scary times gave Jeff and I both a whole new appreciation for each other, our kids, our family, our life. Merry Christmas. God is Good.

Raging Squirrells

A few weeks ago, I desperately wanted the boys to get out of the house and play. They refused. So, I gave them a job. I told them that I would give them $1 a piece for each pound of pecans they picked up. Having no idea how many pecans were out there, how many pecans were in a pound or how motivated Asa and Addison would be, I put my baby scale on the porch and let them go for it. Just as I had hoped, they spent hours out there, happily picking and playing and talking.

In a couple days, they had picked a total of 6 pounds. Wow. That came to $6 a piece. I chalked it up to affordable childcare and gave them their $6 each. They wanted to pick more and I explained to them a little about supply and demand. See, I have a lot of pecans now, so I don't need as many as I did before... so I won't pay as much as I did before. The new deal was $1 per pound to be split between them. They went out and played and picked and talked... and picked... and picked... and came home from school each day talking about how they couldn't wait to get home and pick more pecans. Well, at this point, they have picked a grand total of 39 pounds of pecans. Just under $20 per kid! Do you know how far $20 goes when you're five? Good grief.

An Elf of our Own

When we got home the other day, there was a package on our doorstep. It was a box. It was wrapped in simple white paper and addressed to Asa, Addison and Ivey from the North Pole! We all sat in the floor and the boys unwrapped this mysterious gift. Inside was a box. The box had a little elf, dressed in red, and a bood entitled, "Elf on a Shelf".

We read the book and learned that in this box was our very own elf. We were instructed to give him a name (we chose "Squirt") and told that he would watch us all day long and leave every night to tell Santa how we were that day as well as what we would like for Christmas. The one important rule is- DO NOT TOUCH! We cannot touch the elf or his magic will go away. He cannot talk to us, but he can listen. We finished the book and decided to set Squirt's box on the mantle. At first we wondered if we should get him out of the box. I wasn't sure how to get him out of the box without touching him, and since the box had a clear front we would be able to set him on the mantle and see if he got out the next morning.

Sure enough, the next morning Squirt had left the tiny red twist ties on the mantle, climbed down, went to the North Pole, and then hid on top of our kitchen cabinet. The boys were delighted. Over the last few days, the boys have made sure to let Squirt know what they would like to get for Christmas. I even caught Asa taking an toy catalog that we got in the mail and holding it up for Squirt to see, pointing out his wishes. Yesterday, Asa told me that he wanted to get a bunch of candy canes for Christmas and "not share any of them". He quickly dropped his voice and said, "I hope that elf didn't hear that." I'm sure the elf did, but I am betting that Asa has been good enough to excuse such a comment.

Each morning, Asa and Addison get so excited running around trying to find where Squirt decided to land. He has been on the light fixture, on the entertainment center and has hung from the curtain rod. He's quite the kidder. I'm not looking forward to Squirt leaving us Christmas Eve night, but at least we all know he will show up again next year... probably when we least expect it...

The Problem Patient Just Won't Go Away

Wow. Leave it to me to continue to be the difficult and bizarre patient. After my D&C at the end of October, I felt better for a while. After a few weeks of recovery, the bleeding had never subsided. It wasn't much, but after 8 weeks postpatrum and 6 weeks post D&C I was still having at least some each day. I was crampy and just knew something wasn't right for weeks. I had called the doctor's office on various occasions to ask about signs of infection, bleeding, etc. I just didn't have enough wrong to justify my concerns. So, I did nothing. At the end of November, I had a day of intense cramps followed by a day of a 102.5 fever. No other symptoms. I went in to see the doctor the next day.

The fever was attributed to a "bug". She did an ultrasound because of the continued bleeding and saw that my uterus looked the exact same as it did before my last D&C! It was enlarged and full of "junk". Not normal at all. Instead of jumping in and doing another D&C, we discussed the option of going on progesterone for 4 weeks and then going off, causing a pseudo-period. This would work to decrease the lining and then cause it to all release, in the theory. Well, I didn't want to go in for another D&C, so I took my prescription and went on my way.

By the weekend, the pain was increasing to the point that I was no longer just taking prescription strength ibuprofen, but I was having to take a half of the left over Percocet from Ivey's birth and the previous D&C to get through. Jeff was going out of town the first week in December, so Dad came to help me out with the kids. He came on Monday and boy was I glad he did. I was having to take the Percocet and didn't want to drive while taking it. So, he stayed with us Monday through Thursday. Throughout the week, I was doubled over in pain. I called the doctor and she told me to stop taking the progesterone, thinking it was the cause of the pain. I knew this wasn't the case. I was having the pain before the progesterone. The intense cramps were what finally pushed me to go to the doctor last week!

By Thursday, I was unable to go 4 hors without the Percocet. Unlike after having Ivey, the Percocet was unable to totally kill the pain. Something was very wrong and I knew it. Jeff came home from his trip and Dad left on Friday. I did not take the Percocet and relied on the ibuprofen so I could get the boys to and from school. Jeff was at work. I was in such excruciating pain that I spent the whole day on the phone with the doctor, trying to get help. At first they dismissed me completely. I panicked. As the pain increased I tried to make them realize how bad it was. By noon, Roland was planning to come here to take me to the ER. Instead, I got the doctor herself on the phone. She said that she would see me on Tuesday. For some reason, probably because I was incapable of rational thought at this point, I agreed. Within 30 minuted of hanging up the phone, I began shaking uncontrollably anf was freezing. I don' mean that I was a little chilled. I was freezing. I couldn't talk because I would chatter so badly. I couldn't dial the phone. I was so cold that all I could do was curl up in a ball in bed with blankets and blankets.... but only for about 45 minutes. That's when the fever began. In 1 hour I was up to 102.5. I called Jeff and made him come home. I called Susan to come watch the boys. I called the doctor and didn't ask... I TOLD them I was coming in. The nurse told me it was too late in the day to come to the office and I should come right to the ER. When she asked me what I'd taken for the fever I yelled, "NOTHING. I will not take ANYTHING for this fever so that you can SEE that I really HAVE it when I get there and take me SERIOUSLY." She asked how far away I was and said she would let the doctor know.

When we got to the ER, I didn't have to sit through all the registration. I was obviously so bad they sent me right back to triage, no wait. After some work up in the ER, I was given Tylenol and Percocet and was admitted. I was poked and prodded and given a catheter to collect a "clean" specimen. They said I could refuse the catheter, but at this point I didn't want to make ANY decision that would make anyone dismiss any facts that were collected. So, I screamed and sobbed my way through. I felt like I was going to die. Pain plus fever made me dilusional. Jeff said I made some comment about how Ivey's birth was like the Clinton staffers leaving the White House. I tried to explain that it was like how they took the pictures off the walls and left a mess as they left... it made perfect sense at the time... not so much when the fever left. I was put on three different IV antibiotics to try to get the fever down. They needed to keep me on them for 48 hours. When the fever was down, they could work on fixing me.

Well, after 48 hours, my fever was still in the high 102's. It ended up taking percocet, morphine and tordol to finally get rid of the pain. I cried. I was scared. Ivey and Jeff stayed with me so I could continue to nurse. The only time I couldn't was when they gave me the contrast for the CT scan. That stuff had to get out of my system for 12 hours before I could nurse her. I wanted Jeff to take her home to use my frozen milk, but I was too scared for him to leave me. I thought I was going to die. The nurses called our pediatrician and found out what kind of formula she recommended. They supplied us with the formula, diapers, everything we needed. My little breastfed baby was a trooper and did just fine.

By Sunday, the doctor realized that the fever was not going to come down. She scheduled me for surgery the next day. A D&C. But, this wasn't the typical D&C. She explained that this was a D&C on an enlarged, infected uterus. The risks go up. There was a higher risk of perforating the uteran wall. She wanted to make sure that I knew that it was very possible I could go under for one thing and wake up being told that they had to do an emergency hysterectomy. I was scared. I was sick. I hurt. It was no fun.

The next day, they wheeled me to surgery, leaving Ivey and Jeff in the room. I went by myself, trying very unsuccessfully to hold it together. The nurse in pre-op read my sheet and looked at me with a concerned look on her face. As soon as she asked me, I knew what she was doing. "What do you think they are doing today?" she asked with a funny tone. I explained that I knew it was a non-routine D&C with a scope, guided by ultrasound, and had a risk of a hysterectomy. She looked relieved that I knew the risk. I wasn't relieved at all. I told the anesthesiologist that I was breastfeeding but was going to "pump and dump" so please give me anything you can to make me feel better. They started me on the anti-nausea med and then whatever it is that puts you to sleep. Unlike the last D&C, I didn't want to get wheeled back wide awake only to go under when I was back there. I wanted to be out. I wanted to stop being scared.

I woke up and vaguely remember freaking out that I had to pee so bad. I couldn't stand it. Looking back, I know it was probably because they gave me a catheter and I just felt that urge. I also know now that I was loopy from being put under and probably looked like a lunatic demanding to get up and finally begging for a bedpan! I don't even remember if I went in it... I probably just fell asleep on top of it.

It turned out that I was able to keep my uterus. They went in and found quite a surprise. We always knew that Ivey had a "vanishing twin". That is, there was a second little sac in there from the beginning, but a baby never grew inside it. There was never a fetal pole or anything large enough to be detectable on ultrasound. It was odd that the sac was always evident on the later ultrasounds... I always wondered if it would be a problem. Well, it was. That empty sac grew its own placenta. A round placenta the size of a golf ball. The doctor, nor any of the colleagues that she consulted, had seen anything like it. It was attached to the roof of my uterus by a string of some sort, and did not come out easily at all. After a lot of effort, it came loose. When it did, my fever and pain completely went away.

I left the hospital the next day, after a 5 day hospital stay, feeling much better. Since I left I have had no pain, fever or bleeding. I was able to come home and decorate for Christmas, sing carols and read stories to the boys. It feels so good to feel good!

All smiles

My little girl is growing like a weed! At her 2 month appointment today she weighed 10lbs 14oz. She is still eating every 3 hours, but is only waking once during the night to eat! We usually get in a feeding at 7:30 and then she doesn't quite make it until 10:30 before spiraling into a wild inconsolable fit of exhaustion. I feed her a little early, around 9:30 or so and then she wakes around 3:30am and then again at 7:30 to start the process all over again. She isn't especially crazy about tummy time, but does alright as long as she is just up from a nap and ready to play!

Asa is concerned that her hair might change one day. He told me that he doesn't want her hair to grow or change at all. Not longer, not curly, nothing. I asked him why and he explained, "Then it might not be so soft like yellow blanket!"

Decision has been made...

Okay, it's official. I am going to be a homeschool mom. I have no idea what I'm doing, have no idea if I will lose my mind, and have no idea if the boys will actually like it. But, it feels a lot better knowing what we will be facing as opposed to wondering what we will do. I have been looking up homeschool groups in our area- there are a bunch! It looks like there are tons of homeschoolers nearby. In my opinion, the only way this will work is in a group. I want to find families with kids this age that want to meet Tuesday and Thursdays for lessons and playtime. Maybe Wednesdays would be just lunch and play. I have already accepted that I will probably be starting my own group, making a website and just jumping in full force.

As Jeff and I leaned heavier and heavier towards this option, I wondered how the boys would feel about it. I explained to them that they would be going to a different school next year for 1st grade and told them that I was thinking about maybe teaching them here at home. I explained a little about what homeschool was. Asa was excited right off the bat! Addison, however, had some concerns about my credentials. He wanted to make sure that I would know what to teach, would I have the right books and things, etc. I explained that I went to school to be a teacher and, to be honest, interviewed with my 5 year old to be his teacher. I must have passed.

Once the interview process was over, they got so excited about having me be their teacher! Asa wanted a chair with his name on the back so he would know which chair was his. Addison wants a calendar on the wall. I told them about meeting with other kids. They are in love with the idea! Honestly, their enthusiasm has helped me get over some of my fear and just jump in. The more I think about being able to adjust their curriculum to meet their needs, the more I get excited. Sure, I may lose my marbles, but at least I'll know my kids are learning. We will be able to continue violin, we can work on whatever math level they need to without having to add 2 apples plus 3 apples when we are already multiplying, we can USE the content and really learn it instead of just filling the answers down on a sheet of paper. I think it may work. (Please remind me of this enthusiasm this time next year!)

Decking the Halls

We got our Christmas tree today! We all headed out to the tree farm to pick out the perfect tree.

When we got home, the boys were very excited to decorate. This, of course, meant to hang as many ornaments off the same 5 limbs as possible.

But, the tree looks great and the house has that warm, happy, Christmas glow!

The secret behind good smiles.... (it's poo)

As you can tell, Mommy got progressively funnier as she snapped these photos. Yes, as she usually does when she needs the good smiles, she pulled out the big guns and used the diaper jokes. Works like a charm. This time the voice was changed as if Ivey herself was speaking...

"If you boys don't hurry up and smile for Mommy, I'm going to poo right in this diaper!"

It was followed up by various incarnations of the same idea, with increasing hilarity.
Although successful in causing huge smiles, the humor was not appropriately regulating and did, in fact, end in laughter that was so intense that it caused a pee pee accident. Next time, although potty humor should still be utilized, it should be controlled in a way to avoid additional laundry for Mommy.

My crazy hippy options

Okay, so I visited the Montessori school in Athens today and loved it! I think it would be a great school for the boys. It is a tad cheaper than the options around here (you know we're talking a ton of money when $350 is a tad cheaper) but it is 23 miles away. That would be 92 miles per day. Roughly the same as Jeff's commute. That's a lot of driving.

So, I continue to lay out my options, each with pros and cons. In the spirit of looking at all of my options, I have decided to spend some actual effort in researching the homeschooling option. As it stands, I am no domestic goddess. The idea of taking care of a baby, teaching 2 five year olds, keeping my house clean, fixing dinner, and managing to stay sane while being with my kids all day while Jeff habitually works past 7:30 and having to take all of my kids with me to every doctor's appointment and Walmart trip sounds, well, impossible. I know there are Superwomen out there who could totally tackle all of that with a smile, hot meal and perfect hair... but this is not me. BUT, what if we took a percentage of the money that we would spend on private school and put it towards some help during the week? If I had a little help here and there with laundry, baby watching, cleaning up, and had someone to watch the kids while I went to the store... it MIGHT be a possibility. This might also allow us to continue violin, which we would surely have to quit if we were managing to somehow spend $1100+ per month on school. I also couldn't even attempt homeschooling without a good group. As it turns out, there is a big group in Monroe. According to the boys' teacher, there are also groups in Winder. There are field trips, dances, small groups that meet for certain classes, etc. Knowing this does help ease my mind a little. A LITTLE. The fear of being overwhelmed from being in a house with three kids all day every day with no adult interaction, a disaster of a house, and all of my hair pulled out into my clenched fists is the main thing that comes to mind when I think of this option.

Where oh where will we end up??

Edumacation

I am freaked out. I mean, totally, completely, stressed out. When we decided to buy this house, we figured that we would be sending our kids to private school, so it didn't really matter about the school system. Well, now that the time has come to make a decision, it is overwhelming. The amount of money that is spent on private education is just amazing. I am looking at schools close by, schools in Athens, Christian schools, Montessouri schools, & Catholic schools. Honestly, I'm looking at everything but DUI schools and doggie obedience schools.

Yikes. I would love for the boys to go to school in Monroe, but for $1440 per month, I don't see how. There are some choices in Athens for more like $1100-$1200 per month... but they are farther away. There is a choice here nearby that is more affordable, but doesn't fit my beliefs. What on earth are we going to do? My boys are way too smart and way too important to screw this up. I go tomorrow to check out the Montessouri school.

Homeschooling may seem like an option, but I am insanely intimidated by this. First of all, I have a baby. Second of all, with no family nearby I would be setting myself up to have to take all three kids to every grocery store trip, doctor appointment, etc. No alone time. Ever. I don't see how homeschooling jives with getting anything else done... like cooking or cleaning. It would be like running errands with them in the summer... except all year long. With Jeff getting home around 7:00-8:00 or later, I see a nervous breakdown in my future. Maybe with the money saved I could pay for a housekeeper/cook. Beyond that, I don't see how it works. Hats off to homeschoolers everywhere.

Now, I will continue to give myself an ulcer as I compare tuition, driving distances, and crazy religious doctrine on a bunch of places that I cannot afford...