At night, I often go to bed before two or three of my children fall asleep. Ivey has to be in bed at around 8:30. However, she has played in her crib for hours on end since she was a tiny baby. She always loved to silently and stealthy play... or sweetly sing to herself. Sometimes, she would wake up in the middle of the night and just hum or babble or play. Many a time have I woke up to tiny hints of noises over the monitor, only to look at the video screen and see her waving her feet around in the air at 4am. She can keep herself entertained for hours. Now that she's in her toddler bed, you'd think she would get up at night and play. But, it seems that when it's dark outside, she likes to stay put in her bed, still playing till 11:00 or so. She sleeps very well, and always has. It's not unusual for her to get up at 9:00 in the morning. She still takes a good 2 1/2 to 3 hour nap in the afternoon, also.
Honestly, as long as she is happy and healthy and getting all the rest she needs.... and as long as I put her in bed at 8:30 and have that time to myself, I don't really care. I choose my battles, and forcing her to conform to an earlier, and arbitrary bedtime is not one I choose to fight. We do not have daycare and her twice a week "preschool" doesn't start until 9:00. When the twins were old enough that the nap had faded out, I learned the trick of making them think you expect them to sleep, going in on occasion to tell them to get back to bed, standing in their room and giving the evil eye to make sure they knew you meant business... and then leaving the room, knowing that they will now just play super duper quietly and get along great in order to think they are flying under my radar. With Ivey, I pull the same thing. I know that this is just how she ticks... but I make her think that I expect silence and sleep. Then, I get silent, lounging in bed play until she finally drifts off.
Now, Asa and Addison have a room set apart from ours and the girls' rooms. I make sure their teeth are brushed and everything is done that needs to be. I write their "seatwork" for the next day on the board. Then, I tuck them in. A lot of times, most of the time, I leave them with their lights on. They know that once I tuck them in, I expect nothing out of them... but they can just turn off the lights when they are ready to go to sleep. Some nights, they both stay up and read. Most nights, Addison reads while Asa works on some LEGO robotic creation. They know that they have to have their work completed and their tummies fed and their clothes on and their chores done before we start "lecture time", which usually begins when Ivey goes down for her afternoon nap. Some nights, Asa stays up late in order to get all of his seatwork done for the next morning. In my opinion, this is time management training. What happens if they oversleep and don't do their seatwork? Then, we can't start "lecture time" on time... and everything lasts forever. It's a consequence so dire that I don't think it will ever happen. For a while, Asa asked for an alarm clock so that he could get up earlier to make sure it all gets done early enough to have adequate playtime before chores and school. Sometimes, he still uses it. They hate wasting time.
I started feeling guilty for not having a more typical night time routine for Asa and Addison. Nine nights out of ten, I do not tuck them in to their beds with the lights out. I even told Jeff recently that we needed to change things to fit the mold a little better. Tonight, I realized that this late night time that they spend in their room is just as educational as any lesson I formally give them. Asa sits for hours upon hours with gears and motors and axles, making things I can't even begin to figure out. Addison started the first book of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" on Tuesday, 6 days ago, and is now on book 4, "The Silver Chair". Why take this time away? I get the "me" time I need, and who's to say they don't need their own "me" time, as well. Thus, I renounce myself of all guilt and just enjoy the freedom that we have to be flexible.
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