My New Life

Well, it seems that I have found something more isolating than bedrest... bedrest where no one can even come and talk to you or sleep beside you. It has been 4 days since I brought Olive home from the hospital, and 4 days since I've seen Addison or Ivey (Asa sticks his head in a lot... even if he's told not to). My heart aches big time. I can hear them out there... and I wish Ivey could know that I am here or understand that I won't keep leaving and then coming back only to leave again. She is doing fine, but I don't like that I have been an inconsistent and sporadic part of her life for over a month now. I know in the long term she and I will both get over it, but it breaks my heart in that same feeling that you think you won't feel again in your whole life once you marry the man you love... but you don't realize that even if your marriage is picture perfect, life happens and parenthood, well, can break your heart at times.

Olive is doing great. She wakes up and is alert for a while, gets a diaper change (which she hates), eats, and goes to sleep... everything she's supposed to do. Ivey seems to be doing much better today. She hasn't had Motrin since 10am and was happy as a clam tonight. Hopefully she is on the mend! Addison is going on his second day. He's still pretty rough. Like Jeff, he has a bad cough. Both Jeff and Addison are on antibiotics though, which makes me feel much better. Asa still does not have it. Mom feels completely horrible. She's at home and the flu is at its worst. I feel so bad about exposing her to all of this, not that we knew at the time what was going on.... but I feel horrible. Linda is here with us now and I know her day is coming. My guess is Saturday. I hope not, but I will be shocked if she can make it through without getting it.

I think everyone is contagious until 24 hours after their fever ends, and then the surfaces can still carry active viruses for 48 hours. I am wondering when this will be... and how concrete those numbers are. I do not want to go through all of this only to get Olive sick in the end. I will be so nervous to let them near her for a while. When we can all snuggle and be close, I may barricade ourselves in the house, including Jeff who has to go back to work on Monday and totally missed out on his baby the whole week, and curl up and be together. Needless to say, I do not want the kids to go for any visits without me for a very long time. The boys understand, but I want Ivey to know that I am not going anywhere... and that I am her Mommy.

Today, I needed a thermometer for Olive, so I called a friend who came and delivered it through my bedroom window. Seeing her made such an impact on my mood that I think I will be doing more of this. Another friend brought me some books to read tonight... through my window. I was able to hold Olive up for them both to see... which felt so good since no one has seen my beautiful little girl. Hal and Jen were able to come to the hospital, and Jeff held her on Friday in the hospital... Mom, Randy and Linda held her in the hospital... and the kids saw her on Sunday when we came home (before I knew they all had the plague)... but beyond that, it's just me. My drive-through-window-delivery-service cheered me up and helped me make it another day!

Another thing that helped me today was that I had Addison open up Instant Messenger on the computer out there, so that they could write to me. I thoroughly enjoyed "talking" to them. Here are some excerpts:

Holly: Addison?
Addison & Asa: wot
Holly: are you ok?
Addison & Asa: yes
Holly: are you still sick?
Addison & Asa: i downt no
Holly: i love you
Addison & Asa: i love you to
Addison & Asa: are you stel thair
Holly: yes
Addison & Asa: ok
Addison & Asa: :-)
Holly: LOL
Addison & Asa: i saw that
Holly: please write me all the time!
Holly: it makes me happy
Addison & Asa: ok if it makse you happy
Holly: :-)

Addison & Asa: how are you feeling
Holly: i am ok. just miss you
Holly: and asa and ivey and daddy
Addison & Asa: i miss you to
Holly: i am sorry that you are sick!
Holly: the medicine tastes bad but it will help you a lot
Addison & Asa: i no
Holly: is daddy still sleeping?
Addison & Asa: yes
Addison & Asa: can i tel you smsing
Holly: yes
Addison & Asa: how is oliv
Holly: super!
Holly: she misses you, too!
Addison & Asa: grate :-)
Holly: (PICTURE)
Addison & Asa: aaaaw
Holly: :)
Addison & Asa: ilove her to
Holly: she knows!

Holly: i will leave my computer on so you can do this any time. ok?
Addison & Asa: grate:-):-):-)
Addison & Asa: thacs
Addison & Asa: are you stil thaer
Holly: yes
Addison & Asa: did you see that i put grate :-):-):-)
Holly: I did. and I like all the smiley faces

Holly: you can talk to me later if you want to
Addison & Asa: wynot now it macs you happy
Holly: you are sweet (l)
Addison & Asa: aaaw(l)
Addison & Asa: is eneebodeehome
Holly: I am here!
Holly: what is Ivey doing?
Addison & Asa: she is triing to git into drowse
Holly: that sounds like Ivey!
Addison & Asa: i no but i stil love her

How could this NOT cheer me up!

At dinner time, I got this message...
Addison & Asa: why u wany on burger?
Holly: ketchup, mustard, pickle, lettuce if you have it

I thought that was so cute... I told Hal and Jen how cute it was... I told Jeff how cute it was and then, I learned that that line was actually written by Jeff himself. "Was my spelling that off?" Hrmm... off enough for me to swear it was written by a six year old!