So thankful.

It is 1:30am, and the hectic day, for me, has wound down enough for me to truly focus on my giving of thanks.  Usually, this would be a time for me to sit in a quiet house and reflect, or just breathe in the quiet.  But, we will have our Thanksgiving dinner here tomorrow, so Mom is downstairs preparing for the festivities and jamming out, for some unknown reason, to what seems to be high energy Latino Christmas music.  Although it is not quiet, it is a different kind of peace.  It is a busy house full of energy that I am stopping and appreciating tonight.

As adults, we do not often spend time with our parents during the ins and outs of our day.  Yes, there is most likely a good reason for this fact.  We all like our independence, our autonomy, our way.  We talk on the phone with them (for some of us, daily), but even though we hear of their days, we do not live them.  For fourteen months now, I have not had a glimpse of my parents' life, I have been right there in it.  Although it may have been more time than we bargained for, and although the project in no way went in the way we had envisioned when we made the decision to move, I will no doubt always look back at this time as "bonus time" spent with them.  Not a visit, not a vacation, but life-sharing that only cohabitation can create.

We have something right now, at this moment, that I could not say three, or even two, months ago.  We have a light at the end of the tunnel.  It isn't until this week that I have allowed myself to start absorbing the reality that in the next few months I will be returning to my life as we knew it... of being together as a couple and as a family.  Like all life experiences, I have learned to appreciate many things.  I have learned to appreciate how hard my parents work at their jobs, how much I enjoy (and really need) a Monday through Friday schedule, how easy it is to get along with my mother, how bickering means little in the unconditional love of a family, how nice it is to be alone with my husband, and how even a family of six can be considered quiet in comparison to one of eight.  I am stopping tonight to be thankful for the time that we have spent here... and how it is ultimately helping us to get to our final house-building adventure.

I am thankful for a wonderful husband who is perpetually on the same page as me.... a page from an out-of-print book written by an obscure author that no one else has heard of.  We have crazy ideas.  We bite off insanely large projects.  We consistently take the rocky, twisted mountain hike instead of a leisurely stroll.  We are nuts.  But, we are nuts together.  I have come to realize that the two of us can accomplish pretty much anything.  It may be hard and stressful.  I may be overwhelmed and second-guess our path.  But, we work well together.  When we stood in the yard of our last house, staring at its horrific state, I saw potential and said "yes" without question.  I said "yes" knowing full well that it would make me cry, stressed out, and that I would have moments of questioning our sanity.  The right decision does not come with a pain-free guarantee.  The knowledge that their will most likely be pain should not hinder the decision to do something good, something right, something that makes your heart full.  

No regrets.  No stagnation.  No going through the motions. 

 

I am thankful for our amazing children.  There were times that I questioned whether or not I would ever get to be a parent at all.  Those short times of hopelessness have been replaced with this unbelievable life that I have as a mother of four.  Although at times I am desperate for a reprieve, I am so thankful for all of the time that I spend with my little crew.  At one time, I calculated how many hours of time I gain with them by homeschooling.... and I realized how much time that is in comparison to the short years that they will live with us.  Again, I am blessed with "bonus time".  Life is too short not to grasp on to any "bonus time" I can get.  If you want a farm, or you know your kids would thrive in a class of like-minded peers that isn't available to you, or you yearn to live near the ocean, or you have always dreamed of writing a book, then get on those hiking boots, hit the mountain, and make it happen.   

No regrets.  No stagnation.  No going through the motions.  


I am thankful for the opportunity to give my boys the classroom experience that I had envisioned for them.  I do not know what the future holds.  I hope it holds many more years of this custom made educational experience that we are creating for them.  Soon, I will be planning for another year in our hybrid school... recruiting students, lining up teachers, and organizing the year.  But, for this moment I want to pause and just revel in this school year that these boys will remember always.  We are truly blessed.


Six months from now, we will be settled into a new routine all our own, in a house to call our own.  We will be looking forward at the monumental task of building an entire house with our own hands.  But tonight, I am thankful for this leg of the journey.   We are truly blessed.