Addison has developed a bad habit. The boy lies. He lies about stupid things that he wouldn't even be in trouble for. He is also very quick on his feet about it.
I think his first lies centered around video game playing. For a while, he would bawl and cry whenever he would lose. We responded each time by explaining that it was ridiculous to cry over a game and promptly turning it off. We aren't really "boys don't cry" people (at least I'm not) but Addison does seem to have a set of overactive tear ducts. When it is for ridiculous reasons, he gets removed from the situation. No Nintendo. Well, at some point he and Jeff were playing some game and Addison lost. We noticed the tears welling up in his eyes. We asked him if he was crying... "No... some water just fell in my eye." He explained. He had no idea how water fell in his eye, but it must have... because it's not like he was crying or anything. Jeff and I grinned a little grin at each other and kept playing. Perhaps if we knew it was the beginning of a series of lies we would have acted on it.
Addison has been getting in trouble for lying for weeks now. He has received a couple spankings and some serious conversations about becoming a better person, growing up to be a good man, being trustworthy, etc. Well, it must all fall on def ears. On Monday, I was upstairs and happened to notice a pair of underwear sticking out from underneath the upstairs bathroom cabinet (which is on legs). As I pulled them out, I noticed there was another pair... and another... and another. Six pair of dirty underwear shoved under the cabinet. Now, Addison has a problem with keeping in the poo until he actually reaches the toilet. I do get on to him, but he would never, say, get a spanking for it. I find it absurd but figure there may be some sort of developmental issue going on? Anyway, there were six pair of underwear shoved under there. I was not a happy camper.
I called Addison upstairs and his face dropped as he entered the bathroom. I explained to him that a) this is gross and b) this is a lie. Everytime he shoved another pair under there instead of letting me know, putting them in the dirty clothes hamper and getting a clean pair, he was lying. He got a spanking before school. I tried to make a huge point of how he can easily turn a new leaf and stop this bad habit. I thought it was a good talk... well...
Today, two days later, Addison was eating grits for breakfast before school. I asked him to try not to spill any grits on his shirt (he is a notorious sloppy eater). Well, I noticed that Addison was not in his seat and heard someone trying to lock the very high lock in the bathroom. I opened the door to find Addison on a stool. "Why are you trying to lock the door?" I asked him. He just looked at me. I asked in a different way. "Why are you on the stool?" He looked at me with a very transparent look and quickly replied, "I was trying to see if there were any ants on top of the mirror." Now, this is one of those situation where I really should have disciplined the heck out of the kid. Instead, the ant comment totally threw me off and I was just focusing on NOT laughing. I asked him once more... slowly... and he took back the totally logical ant comment and replaced it with "I was trying to clean the grits off my shirt". He knows darn well that he wouldn't be in TROUBLE for spilling the grits on his shirt. I wouldn't be happy necessarily, but he wouldn't be in TROUBLE. I mean, really? Grits on the shirt?? Again, I should have done more, considering, but I decided to explain the deeper consequences of lying... my bad.
After school today, they both got in the car. Asa said, "I'm really sorry mom, but I threw away my lunch container". I like to keep the Lunchable containers and replace the little sections with actual meat and actual cheese. I told him that was no problem at all, don't worry about it, we can get some more next time we go to the store. I thanked him for telling me. Then, I explained to them both that it would be silly for Asa to have said, "Umm... a bird came and picked up my container with its beak and flew off!" or "Logan liked my container and wore it home as a hat!" And how the lie would have gotten him in huge trouble, but the truth was perfectly fine. Sometimes the truth does get you in trouble, but lies are always worse. Always.
Tonight, Addison was watching a movie on my portable DVD player. I sat in the room for a little while as he quietly watched and listened to it on his headphones. I had been going on for a very long time. I had asked him a few times how much longer it would be and he kept telling me that it was almost over. In the silence, I heard a little click. I went over, pulled his headphones away from his ears and asked him if he was pushing Rewind. He said "No". I gave him that momma-knows-everything look and he changed his answer. "Yes". What on earth am I going to do with this kid. I had to put a very cranky Ivey to bed, so I left Jeff with the spanking duty. This child got his butt worn out. I cringed from upstairs. I hate spankings. I don't believe in never giving them, but I don't like giving them one bit and I let the boys both know that if I have to do it. I tell them "I don't like doing this at all and I really wish you wouldn't do things to make me spank you." Ug.
After all was said and done, he came upstairs to get teeth brushed, pj's on and tucked in. I decided to adopt my mother's approach to punishment and gave him an open-ended tv, video game, and Leapster restriction. (I was never grounded for "a week" or "a month" like my friends. I was always just told that I was grounded and was stuck until mom thought it should be over... which was always a very long time). I took it all away and explained to him that we would not be able to believe him for a while. He cannot be trusted and he would have to earn back that trust. I remember that really sucking... but maybe not at five years old? I know I heard that as a pre-teen or teenager and it was miserable... because my mom really meant it and had to seriously go a long time before she trusted anything that came out of my abnoxious little mouth. At five, he may not totally get it, but I'm sure he will as I express this lack of trust in the upcoming days or weeks.
Now, I'm off to put all of the remotes on top of the cabinets.
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