Now that I have passed the really scary period of this pregnancy, where preterm labor would have meant very bad news indeed, I have started to slowly accept the idea of being able to have a different kind of birth experience. Believe me, I have no complaints at all about my pregnancy and birth of the boys. How could I? That was not the time for any worry of pain management or unnecessary medical interventions. Without medical interventions, they would have never been conceived much less lived long enough to have a birth at all.
This pregnancy shared the same level of initial medical intervention... including estrogen patches, more ultrasounds that I can count, and 55 days straight of intra-muscular progesterone injections in alternating butt cheeks. But, unlike the last one, this one has the potential for me to attempt the birth that I hoped for before I knew I was pregnant with twins last time. Given that this is most likely the last time I will ever have this experience, I would like to be a little more prepared. After 12 weeks in the hospital, I had not even begun to think about their actual birth. Actually, I didn't allow myself to. I was too scared. Once my water broke and those true contractions hit, I had no idea what to expect. I had no game plan except... get the epidural and get them out so they can go to the NICU. Had I realized that I was already in transition by the time I got my epidural, I might have opted to just stick it out.
Now, I went to school to be a health educator - health and human reproduction. Obviously, I have interest in the subject even before I was married. I had many classes that went into the details of the physiological changes and stages. But, I never had any class that mentioned how one might cope with said changes... until now.
I searched for weeks for a natural childbirth class. Sure, they offer classes at the hospital, but I didn't want to pay the money and sit through the classes to cover a bunch of stuff that I already knew about. I know about epidurals and episiotomies and breastfeeding. What I don't know is how to avoid epidurals and episiotomies, or how to keep nurses from whisking your baby off unnecessarily to do a bunch of stuff that can be done right there in the room, or how to keep them from shoving a bottle or pacifier in their mouth. I did end up finding classes in Lawrenceville, but was thrilled to discover an entire Pregnancy Resource Center opening up in Athens! I signed us up for classes at Full Bloom, and convinced my friend and her husband to go ahead and take them with us!
So far, I have been very pleased. Yes, Jeff and I have done this before, so we don't need some of this stuff as much as the others do. Yes, it is a little bit "earth muffin" for Jeff's taste... and can be a little hokey at times, but it is pretty easy for me to drop the stuff I find "out there" and take all the rest in. There is one girl in there who is so far out in the outer rim that we find it hard to hold back the giggles. I thought we were both going to chew through our tongues trying to keep quiet when she said that she wanted to "dance" through labor. Ummm... honey... get back to us on that one... I'd like to hear how that goes...
All in all, I have already taken some very useful tidbits away from our first two classes. I feel a lot more confident in my ability communicate my wishes. I am more motivated to avoid an epidural so that I won't have to lie there in the bed while laboring. I know that I can labor in the tub if I want to and that they make fetal monitors that are wireless and waterproof. I learned that the cool thing that Mom used to do when I couldn't sleep- have me start at the feet and contract and relax each body part- is called progressive relaxation and she must have learned it from other humans even though as a kid I thought she was just making it up. (Asa, by the way, requests that I do this with him when he can't sleep, too.)
Do I know that I will be able to work my way through the pain, drug free? Of course not. Will I refuse an episiotomy even if I really need one? No way. WIll I feel bad if I end up screaming in pain and begging for them to drug me to the hilt? Not a chance. Heck, I don't even know that I don't go into labor too soon or have a baby that won't turn and end up not being able to use any of this! But, at least this time I will feel like I was prepared and gave it my best shot. If I can avoid that needle in the spine, the inability to move around on my own, and some strange nurse that I didn't really like holding my leg.... I'll take it! Plus, I think a part of me just wants to see that my body can do something on its own...
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