No Cape. No Boots. Just Me.

I am making a list.  Whenever someone calls me, "Superwoman", I am going to jot down their name and be sure to have them all around the next time I lock myself in the bathroom in tears... the next time I am frozen with stress, overwhelmed and standing in a room full of things to do... or I am wading through weeks worth of laundry, dishes, and filth that I neglected to handle.  There is no Superwoman here.  Some see a homeschool mom, a mom of four, a teacher, a psuedo-wanna-be-farmer, and think I do it all.  I do not.  For everything that I choose to accomplish, something else must fail.

Superwoman would not choose sleep over the housework that screams her name.  Superwoman would not lose her cool and would not stress out.  Superwoman could juggle the kids-- and get her errands done when she leaves to do so instead of having to retreat back to the house, early.  Superwoman could use all of her time productively.  She would not be late.  She would not have emails that go unanswered.  She would always know how much money was in the checking account.  She would know what she needs to do at all times and forget nothing.  There is no Superwoman here.

When the day is long and has been full of demands and cries and discipline, Superwoman would not feel isolated.  She would not feel jealous.  She wouldn't need help, a break, or a friend to talk to.  She wouldn't feel that she has failed at at least one thing. every. day.  She would not feel a wave of anxiety when the baby monitor announces that nap time ended two hours early.  She would not mind that the only way she can shower is by locking multiple children in her bedroom so that her taking a shower won't result in a trip to the ER. Superwoman could handle it all.  All the time.  Without fail.  There is no Superwoman here.

No one can do it all.  There is a danger in viewing someone as if they can can.  A danger of expecting too much, assuming too much, and of being shocked at their human reactions.  I do not want to be Superwoman, and I feel guilty each time I hear it.  To be called that name means that some other woman may think that they are not measuring up, or that a man would expect his wife to meet this faulty perception.  It means someone else might think that they are not "doing it all".  Well, I am not doing it all.  I run out of time every. day.  I put a movie in the DVD player in my room every night so that, when the little ones wake up before the sun, I can push play and go back to sleep as they trample my head.  I do not fix my hair.  Ever.  I do not give everyone the individual attention they need.  There is no Superwoman here to compare to.

I constantly look around at moms that have it together.  The ones that have houses to have guests in.  Have birthday cards attached to the presents at birthday parties.  Are dressed decently and look like they actually spent time to fix up.  The ones with nice nails.  The ones that can complete a sentence without sounding like a flaky fumbling loon.  Surely, they do not feel lonely, or need help, or feel overwhelmed.  Surely, they are the Superwomen.  Not I.  If I am, then we all are.  Anyone who can go to a restaurant and rattle off five independent, unique, complicated orders because they know their kids well enough to know exactly what each would like, is Superwoman.  But, this does not mean that she knows what she's doing... or that she should be expected to.  Or that she can do it alone.  It takes a village to raise a kid.  It takes a city to support a mom.

There is no Superwoman here.  Just me.