So, after over 18 months of constant weekend tree-cutting and beam-milling, Jeff and Randy are finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. A while back, we had the first half of the lumber inspected, which went VERY well. Although the second half is not completed, it will be in the next couple months. This moves us from the lumberjack era of housebuilding to the chiseling and cutting of mortises and tenons, and fitting the pieces of each bent together. Once the pieces are fit, they will be numbered, disassembled, and stored (just like they did with the pieces of the copula).
So come on. Ask me when we're going to start our house.
Ok, so never since, well, since EVER, have I been so negligent in my journalling. I have blogged about my kids, my pregnancies, & about infertility treatment. Before that, I journalled EVERYTHING. I have written down my thoughts since middle school. So, why the recent void?
Yes, I am very busy. Yes, there are a whole lot of kids in my house, and the domestic duties, farm chores, schooling, class teaching, & house building (not that I am house-building myself at this point, but I am pulling the weight for the lumberjack who is!). But, I think a big part of my absentia has been my mental state. I just haven't been engaged, for lack of a better word. At the end of the day, I have so many things in my mind that would be great posts... but the thought of sitting down and forming the words seems exhausting. I'm not saying that I've been depressed, exactly. Well, maybe in some way, but not in a "oh whoa as me" depression... more of a lack of energy. A lack of spark.
Part of it is the house project, I know. We have chosen to bite off a crazy project (again), and it all seems overwhelming. With this timber-frame approach, Jeff & Randy take on all the engineering (REALLY not my thing), tree-cutting, milling into beams, etc. My job is to hold down the fort. Later on, things will be in a different gear, but for the past few years, this has been the formula. After our Bethlehem renovation, and the renovation of my parents' house that we are in, and the Social Circle house before that, I feel like we have just spent an entire adulthood working towards being able to hang clothes up in a closet and have a BBQ...but never getting there. I know life is about the journey, not the destination. I know we have learned a LOT. I know we could not control or foresee the real estate market crashing. I know, I know, I know. I just feel a little tired sometimes. Sometimes, I just want something to be finished and nice, and to unpack my grandmother's punchbowl that has never been able to be unpacked. We'll get there, or so I'm told. Basically, this feeling is the same basic feeling that has kept me from blogging. Just the feeling of heaviness. I'm just tired. And, I have cookies to bake, bellies to tickle, and dance-parties to put on in the living room.
So, I sit here with my music playing, soap curing in the kitchen, a husband passed out on the couch, and a house full of slumbering children... and I vow to try to write again. Therapy.